Cinema and Self Care by Andrew Hackett

Day 1 of 4: Magnolia

I have love to give. I just don’t know where to put it! - William H., Macy’s character in Magnolia

Have you faced the need of finding another family? Have you added to your biological family with chosen family? Some of us can add to “family” while others need to find a new one altogether. Also, all of us face the question of what boundaries we want in our relationships. It’s in our agency and responsibility to make those tough choices.

In Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia we see a host of people in traumatic family situations. Children, both young and grown up, have been devastated by the abusive, selfish actions of their parents and authority figures. We get glimpses into the “why” of the parent’s behavior but the film most explores the different ways of dealing with the “sins of the fathers” that are passed along to the children.

For many of the characters in the film the possibility of familial redemption is not very realistic. How do you restore a relationship with an abuser who refuses to take responsibility or change?

The film is set in the sprawl and capitalist hedonism of Los Angeles. I have had my own experiences living in the San Fernando Valley as a kid and know a bit of that world. Paul Thomas Anderson also grew up there and the history of Los Angeles is something that comes up over and over again in his work. The city of LA is a character in the film. It feels like the place itself is driving people further and further away from each other even as they seek their own selfish advancement.

What is the value of family when it is toxic and damaging? What does one do?

The first few films of PTA are about the search for family, both chosen and biological. Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, and Magnolia all circle around this theme. In Boogie Nights we go into the world of porn films of the late 70’s in Los Angeles. We meet people who create a chosen family around sex films. We see peaks into how painful their biological family situations are. They, like all of us, need a “place to be”. Drugs, alcohol, jealousy, and wealth all break down their chosen family. It is possible to read a somewhat happy ending into Boogie Nights but the viewer still knows that these people aren’t on very solid ground moving forward.

Magnolia asks the question of how to really move on from the trauma of family pain. One of the lead characters is an idealistic police officer (John C. Reilly) who is always trying to do the right thing. (This part plays in an even more uncanny way in light of all the police brutality of recent years - in other words - it feels hard to sympathize with a police officer in our day and age). There is a scene towards the end of the film where he helps a man (William H. Macy) who had attempted to rob his former boss. Macy’s character, with teeth gashed, tears coming down his face, and blood all over himself after taking a fall to the concrete says one of the key lines of the film:

I have love to give. I just don’t know where to put it!

We all have love to give. We don’t always know where to put it.

After the cop lets the potential thief go he enters into a monologue and the problem of justice. How do we live in a world where people hurt other people? After musing about whether people need to be judged or forgiven he ends on the question:

What can we forgive?

The feeling in the film is that each character has to ask this specific question for themselves. What can they forgive? Is redemption possible with an abusive family member or is time to break off the relationship altogether. Chosen family is necessary for everyone to an extent, but absolutely necessary to the person who cannot have intimacy or trust with their biological family.

Paul Thomas Anderson leads us to the fundamental question of facing our pain, those who have hurt us, and then we are left with a pragmatic question. Do I need a new “family”? Chosen family is a way of deciding for yourself which relationships build you up and which tear you down. Chosen family is about accepting your own agency and yet it requires the honesty of facing painful memories and experiences.

What can we forgive? What relationships need to go?

Think about your relationships both in terms of family and chosen family. Are these relationships upbuilding to you? Where is there possibility for communication to improve the relationships? Are there any relationships that are constantly causing you pain? On the next devotional we will explore another Paul Thomas Anderson movie which looks at the price of toxic religious life and knowing when we may need to move on.

Day 1 of 4: Magnolia

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