Beyond Coming Out — Our Bible App

Day 1 of 3: Taking Gentle Care

“So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you."
1 Peter 5: 6-7 (MSG)

"“When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst."*
Lamentations 3:28-30 (MSG)

If you have recently come out — or, let’s face it, we all often have to come out more than just one specific time — you may be asking yourself what the next steps in your journey are.

There are times we may be out in one area of our life, but not another. For those of us on the transgender spectrum like myself, we have come out more than once because of that. The coming out process should be well-celebrated; however, it is important to recognize that you are so much more than just your LGBTQIA+ identity so that you honor all of you. As you live your daily life as a queer person, there are so many more identities you hold. You are multi-faceted. Coming out can be so exciting and so time consuming that we can forget to care for our whole self. What I mean by that is how is your mental health? How is your nutrition? Are you getting fresh air? Are you staying hydrated? How is your sleep? What are you doing to take care of yourself spiritually? I came out as bisexual in 2016. I came out as non-binary in 2019. I am still in the exploratory stages of figuring out what exactly my gender identity means in my life and how I want it to look when interacting with others. There is a lot to consider. Sometimes, my mind can feel heavy and even overwhelmed.

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Coming out with the information seems like just the beginning, and I have many questions yet to be resolved. Casting my worries on God helps me to re-focus on taking care of my physical, emotional, and mental needs besides just what is related to my LGBTQIA+ identities.

For me, taking gentle care looks like weekly sessions with an affirming therapist, regular care with my psychiatrist, attending church or spiritual gatherings (online until in-person services are able to resume), reaching out to my friends and support network consistently, and taking short walks outside when I can.

I am proud of being bisexual and non-binary, and I believe God is proud of me, too. I also value the parts of me that are simply a student or that are disabled. All of me is good. Taking gentle care of me is remembering all of who I am and seeking to hold space for my self as a whole person in all my humanity.

I invite you to say this affirmation with me: “I am a whole person. I am a human being. I am a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I am uniquely made by God so that I have my own special talents and interests. I commit to taking gentle care of myself. I have compassion for myself. I love my body. I love my mind. I love my heart. I am going to choose authenticity and gratitude each day because I deserve to live my best life.”
You can say it more than once to really marinate on the meaning of each sentence. I wish you many blessings and peace as you continue discovering what it means for you to be a queer person of faith.

Ary Noel Lee

Day 1 of 3: Taking Gentle Care

Start reading this 3-day devotional in the app. Find it on the Featured shelf.