The Radical Possibilities of Pleasure by Erica Smith

The Radical Possibilities of Pleasure

—Erica Smith

Day 1 of 3: Accepting That You Deserve Pleasure

“Pleasure is the point. Feeling good is not frivolous, it is freedom.”
― adrienne maree brown, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good

As a sex educator who focuses her work on people recovering from the harms of purity culture, I constantly meet people who are either 1) completely disconnected from their own pleasure 2) deeply uncomfortable with the thought of intentionally seeking out pleasure or 3) all of the above.

Sound familiar? Purity culture teaches us that our bodies are inherently sinful and that any pursuit of pleasure is also sinful. This applies heavily to sex, of course, but also to other pleasures of the body as well— especially food and eating. (There are many parallels between purity culture and diet culture, for example: the policing of our bodies’ wants and needs, restriction and self-punishment, a focus on “good” vs “ bad,” etc.)

Many of my clients have worked hard to question their beliefs about pleasure and to begin to accept that the pursuit of pleasure is their right. But it’s not an easy journey. For many, they discover that even after intellectually rejecting purity culture values, it still feels wrong to want to feel good.

What are some of the messages you received about pleasure growing up? Was it accessible to you or not? What did the adults around you say about things like pleasure when it came to food and leisure? About doing things just for the sole purpose of feeling good? Do you think pleasure is something you must earn? If so, why?

Give yourself permission to experience pleasure. Accept that you deserve it for no other reason than that you’re alive in your body.

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